Jadual, bukan cara

Pagi semalam, topik pagi di Radio IKIM berkait dengan berapa jumlah gaji yang membolehkan kehidupan selesa (atau yang lebih kurang seperti itu, saya tak dengar dari awal). Tapi yang saya nak cerita di sini, ada seorang pemanggil nak kongsi cara bagaimana nak kumpul satu juta ringgit dalam masa lima tahun. Rupa-rupanya, caranya ialah - dengan menyimpan lima ratus ringgit sehari! Erkk... Dia ada jugalah cadangkan supaya berniaga supaya boleh dapat lima ratus sehari tu, tapi still ... bagi saya dia cuma menerangkan 'jadualnya' dan bukan 'caranya'.

Teringat saya pernah terbaca panduan menulis novel dalam masa 30 hari. (Lebih kurangnya) Hari pertama, fikirkan plot. Hari kedua, fikirkan dan kembangkan watak. Hari ketiga, tulis bab pertama. Hari keempat, tulis bab kedua. And so on and so forth, sampai hari ke-tiga puluh, semak semula manuskrip anda. Arghhh... ini juga satu bentuk 'jadual'. Tak mustahil untuk dilakukan, tapi ini bukan menunjukkan bagaimana untuk lakukannya.

Kalau begitu saya pun nak kongsikan 'cara' bagaimana nak dapat sepuluh anak sebelum umur 35 tahun. Mula-mula, kahwin selewat-lewatnya pada usia 25 tahun. Setahun selepas kahwin, beranak anak kembar. Dua tahun selepas itu, beranak lagi sepasang kembar. Dan seterusnya, sampai dapat lima pasang kembar. Aci? Hahaha ... (Oklah, 'jadual' saya paling tak logik sekali hehe...)

Guess where

Well, I just like this composition - the colourful lightings made the shooting water looks very fun and exciting. 

Subsidi oh subsidi

Apa yang hendak saya tuliskan hari ini sesuatu yang telah lama bersarang dalam kepala, tetapi tidak terluah, risau jika tersilap kata. Sebabnya, ini topik sensitif. Dan pendapat saya bukan pendapat popular. Saya berpendapat, subsidi wajar ditarik balik (secara berperingkat). Tetapi ada syaratnya, iaitu perbendaharaan kerajaan ditadbir dengan

1. amanah – tiada rasuah,

2. cekap – tidak tiris, dan

3. bijak – peruntukan dibelanjakan untuk meningkatkan ekonomi negara dengan efektif yang mana kesan positifnya dapat dirasai oleh semua peringkat masyarakat, atau dibelanjakan untuk kemudahan kesihatan dan pendidikan yang juga dapat dirasai oleh seluruh rakyat.

Ya, memang sukar untuk memenuhi syarat-syarat ini.

Mengapa saya tidak setuju dengan konsep subsidi?

1. Kerajaan membelanjakan duit (yang bukan sedikit, malah berbilian-bilion) untuk semua orang indiscriminately, tidak kira yang miskin atau yang kaya, yang memandu Kancil mahupun Porsche, rakyat Malaysia mahupun bukan rakyat Malaysia. Apatah lagi jika bahan subsidi itu tidak dihargai dan dibazir-bazirkan pula.

2. Barang subsidi diseludup ke negara lain atau sampai ke tangan pihak yang tidak sepatutnya (contohnya diesel subsidi untuk nelayan dijual kepada sektor komersil), dan yang untung adalah orang-orang yang tidak bertanggungjawab (boleh dikira sebagai criminals).

3. Untuk mengawal barang subsidi memerlukan kepada penguatkuasaan, dan menjadi satu kos besar pula untuk ditambahkan kepada subsidi tadi.

4. Subsidi mewujudkan kesan dan keadaan yang ‘tidak benar’. Contohnya, jika kita benar-benar terkesan dengan tingginya harga gula, mungkin kita akan cuba kurangkan pengambilan gula. Motivasi kesihatan tidak memadai, mungkin motivasi kewangan lebih berkesan. Harga petrol yang rendah mungkin membuatkan kurangkan tekanan untuk meningkatkan kualiti sistem pengangkutan awam atau membuat penyelidikan sumber tenaga alternatif yang boleh diperbaharui.

Menarik balik subsidi bukan sesuatu yang mudah. Saya sukar membayangkannya. Adakah harga semua benda akan melambung tinggi? Mungkin. Tetapi seperti frasa yang saya terbaca dalam blog seseorang suatu masa dahulu (sudah lupa siapa, maaf), pilihlah, mahu ‘short-term gain, long-term pain’ atau ‘short-term pain, long-term gain’.

Namun, jika tiada apa-apa perubahan positif yang signifikan, dan pentadbiran kewangan dan perbendaharaan negara masih status quo, maka berilah kepada kami bahagian kami melalui subsidi.

"Why do you love me?"

Bagaimana ya, agaknya, jika seorang lelaki berkahwin dengan seorang perempuan kerana inginkan isterinya itu memasak untuknya, menyiapkan pakaian dan membersihkan rumahnya? (Bukan saya - saya tidak pandai memasak dan housekeeping skills juga tak berapa nak ada) Bagaimana agaknya perasaan isteri itu? Barangkali dia tidak kisah. Mungkin kerana dia memang sangat-sangat mahu berkahwin dengan lelaki itu (terdesak? cinta itu buta?). Mungkin juga dia seorang yang seronok buat kerja-kerja memasak, membersih dan sebagainya. Barangkali juga, berkahwin dengan seorang wanita supaya terhidang segala keperluan makan pakainya, adalah sebab yang valid. Berkahwin untuk 'menerima' (to be served). Siapa kata kahwin perlu atas dasar cinta? Tidak semestinya berkahwin untuk hidup bersama seorang life partner, dalam perjalanan mencari redha Allah. Teringat pula hadis Rasulullah (not word for word) petikan/excerpt sahaja: "Sesiapa berhijrah kerana wanita, akan mendapat wanita, sesiapa berhijrah kerana harta, akan dapat harta." Jika itu yang diniatkan dan dihajatkan, barangkali memang itulah yang diperolehinya.

Perkahwinan itu berbeza-beza dinamiknya, hubungan antara si suami dengan isteri. Kita ini, terbatas pengalaman. Sebab itu kadang-kadang ada perkara yang kita tidak faham. Bila sesuatu itu lain daripada apa yang kita faham, tidak semestinya ia salah. Sebab itu kadang-kadang ada wanita yang tidak kisah dimadukan (eh, macam mana boleh masuk topik poligami pulak?), sebab dinamik hubungan suami-isteri itu mungkin lain daripada yang kita faham.

Saya membayangkan dialog ini.

Suami: I love you.
Isteri: Why?
Suami: Sebab awak pandai masak. Hari-hari awak masak untuk abang sedap-sedap.
Isteri: ...

Kalau saya jadi si isteri, adakah saya akan rasa gembira? Atau rasa sedih?
(Tapi janganlah pula tak puji/hargai bila isteri masak. Bezanya? Expectation, I think)

Sama juga kalau begini.

Suami: I love you.
Isteri: Why?
Suami: Because you're so beautiful.
Isteri: ...

Saya dulu pernah berasa rendah diri kerana sangka wajah saya tidak cantik, ini cerita zaman remaja berbelas tahun dululah. Tapi beberapa tahun kemudian, saya tersedar (Alhamdulillah), bahawa sebenarnya, itu adalah satu kelebihan, kerana dengan itu mudah untuk saya tahu, orang yang menyukai saya bukan kerana rupa paras saya, sebaliknya kerana diri saya sendiri. Dan beberapa tahun selepas itu pula, saya tersedar lagi (Alhamdulillah), majoriti daripada manusia memang cantik sebenarnya, kerana diberi Allah rupa paras yang sempurna, termasuk saya. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Tidak perlu berada di takah sepuluh persen teratas wanita jelita untuk berasa cantik. Memang kita melihat dunia berbeza-beza melalui kaca mata kita (yakni, melalui pandangan dan mindset), dan kita sendiri berubah dari tahun ke tahun, pengalaman ke pengalaman.

Eh, dah jadi sesi membebel tak tentu hala (mindless babbling) pula.

Soalan cepu emas: Apakah jawapan yang betul kepada soalan 'Why do love me/marry me?' ('Because you are who you are' adalah sangat cliche. Tolong jangan jawab begini.)

(And yes, women can be this complicated.)

Iklan: Tanah lot untuk dijual

Tanah lot ini seluas 5352 kaki persegi dan terletak di Kg Abu Bakar Baginda (berhampiran Putrajaya, Sg Merab dan Bangi). Harga: RM35/kaki.

Jika berminat, e-mel saya di mynie.mat@ gmail.com dan saya akan berikan nombor telefon untuk dihubungi. Bukan tanah saya ya (I wish lah), tapi milik seorang family friend yang minta tolong uar-uarkan.

Assorted links

1) Engineering Malaysia’s Future (written by Sir James Dyson, industrial designer and founder of Dyson Ltd)

Excerpts:

What boosts a country's economy aren't stockbrokers and financial speculators -- making things does.

Firstly, we need to get young people excited about science and engineering for the satisfaction of solving a problem. Secondly, we need to be exploiting knowledge through collaboration, not competition, between universities, companies and not-for-profit organisations. Lastly, we need to create a culture where science, technology and engineering are held in high esteem.

Research and development takes time and it takes money, with many dead ends before breakthroughs occur. But it is how new technology is created; it's a long slog -- ideas are instant but invention is long-term. When a breakthrough does occur it must be celebrated and in turn this will help open the eyes of the public and young people to engineering's opportunities.

So, yes, while Malaysia has ambitious plans to become a developed nation by 2020, achieving them will be possible if everyone steps up. Governments, academics, schools, researchers and businesses all have their part to play in engineering Malaysia's future.

2) Malaysia’s Middle-Income Trap (written by Nina Merchant-Vega and Herizal Hazri of Asia Foundation)

Malaysia has done tremendous job progressing from low-income nation to middle-income nation. But why it is so difficult to move up further to high-income and developed nation? One of the points in the article stated that we need to progress from being manufacturers (and depending too much on foreign investors) to becoming inventors (and innovators), which repeats what James Dyson said in his article above.

3) Watch This Face - Dr Afifi al-Akiti (written in Emel, a Muslim Lifestyle Magazine)

Not long after Mamaboyz (aka DrWati) wrote about Ustaz Zaharuddin’s article ‘Inginkan ulama Malaysia seperti al-Qaradawi’, I came across this tokoh Shaykh Afifi, who is the first Malaysian/Malay Oxford Don. Wow. How come I’ve never heard of him before?

Excerpt:

Dr Afifi al-Akiti - also known as Shaykh Afifi - is a man with many hats. When he dons his mortarboard he is the ever erudite Oxford scholar. Walking through the historic stone-walled city, he bears the positions of Fellow at the Oxford Centre for Islamic Studies, Lecturer in Islamic Studies at the Faculty of Theology - Oxford University’s oldest faculty - as well as holding a Lectureship in World Religions at Worcester College, University of Oxford, where he teaches both Islam and Christianity.

Yet when he takes his position at the front of the mosque, sits on the floor and ties his ulema imama, he is the classically trained Muslim theologian and skilled faqih. Steeped in both Islamic and Western academic cultures, Dr Afifi is blessed with a rare insight.

The mortarboard, he notes, is inspired by a madrassa graduation ceremony where students would reverently tie the Qur’an upon their heads. Similarly, the Oxford one-on-one tutorial system mirrors the traditional relationship between shaykh and student. As the first ever Malaysian Oxford Don, Dr Afifi continues breaking boundaries, reaching out far beyond the dreaming spires; in addition to his critically acclaimed written works, he has worked on several BBC documentaries, including the recent Science and Islam.

4) Can’t Find a Dream Job? Create Your Own (written by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits blog)

Excerpt:

Don’t wait for someone to hand it to you. Don’t hope that you’ll win the lottery. Don’t give up and consign yourself to a fate of misery and (worse) dullness.
Create your job! It might sound far-fetched for some of you (while others have already done it) but it’s very possible. Not easy, mind you: it takes hard work and smarts and passion and a crap-ton of learning and a willingness to take risks and make mistakes.

5) Responsibilities of Ownership (written by Erin Doland of unclutterer.com)

This article really resonates with me. I'm sometimes conscious about being perceived as 'kedekut or berkira nak beli benda-benda' among my siblings, but it's not really about the money (though sometimes it is), it's about being a smart consumer.

Excerpt:

One of the downsides of owning a lot of things is you have to care for a lot of things. Caring for copious possessions is simple if you have a team of people to do it for you — cleaning, maintenance, security — but not so simple when you’re the one with all the responsibilities.

I’m not an ascetic. I have stuff. My son has toys, and our family has a car. I’m not an advocate for a possession-free lifestyle. Rather, I adhere to smart consumer practices (spending less than you earn, researching products before your buy them, buying the best quality you can afford, only buying products you need or help you pursue the remarkable life you desire, and trying your best to refrain from acquiring clutter).

Another thing smart consumers acknowledge is that stuff is more than physical objects. Stuff is storage space in your home. Stuff is protecting your things from theft, pests, mold, mildew, and the elements. Stuff is taking time for dusting, cleaning, and returning things after you use them. Stuff is shipping costs, taxes, upgrades, accessories, and energy to power. Stuff is the tradeoff of time, energy, money, and space that you could have used for something else — something you might want more in your life.

Before making a purchase or acquiring a new object, pause and ask yourself if you are willing to accept all the responsibilities that accompany the object. When sorting through the things in your home, ask yourself the same questions. Recognize how the things in your life will impact your future. Don’t get caught off guard by the responsibilities of ownership.

Majlis makan malam

Kebetulan majlis makan malam tahunan tempat saya bekerja dan suami jatuh pada tarikh yang sama.

Majlis makan malam tempat saya bekerja: Di hotel lima bintang yang gah. Tiada sebarang bayaran, kos seratus-peratus ditanggung syarikat. Doorgift pasti menarik, hadiah luckydraw juga hebat-hebat. Hiasan ballroom gilang-gemilang. Penghibur ternama ditempah dengan bayaran belasan jika tidak puluhan ribu. Biasanya persembahan diselang-selikan dengan tarian oleh sekumpulan penari yang berpakaian menjolok mata. Muzik bingit. Alkohol dihidangkan sebagai pilihan.

Majlis makan malam tempat suami bekerja: Di salah sebuah dewan di premis pejabat. Bayaran sekepala RM40. Majlis dimulakan dengan doa. Semuanya serba sederhana. Aman.

Oh, mudahnya untuk memilih.

Malaysian Inventors' Challenge

Finally, a local reality show with inventions as the theme! I can't wait to watch (watch only lah, unfortunately I don't have any inventions to enter the competition with). I hope there'll be lots of interesting inventions. I worry that this competition does not get enough publicity to attract participants. I first read about this in a local paper (which purportedly have less than 200k circulation) at an aunt's house, before googling on for more info. There should be more hype and promotion online in my opinion. The first show will be aired every Saturday for 10 episodes, at 7pm on TV3, starting this Saturday 25th September. More on their official website http://www.1idea.com.my/ .

Iklan raya

Tidak, saya bukanlah mahu menyentuh tentang kontroversi iklan raya TV3 tempoh hari. Saya cuma terfikir sudahkah ada iklan raya yang menggunakan tema-tema di bawah?

1) Menyambung silaturrahim yang terputus. Kemaafan, berlapang dada, kasih sayang. Barangkali sudah ada antara anak dengan ibu bapa, tetapi bagaimana dengan sesama adik-beradik atau saudara-mara? Mungkin antara jiran tetangga atau sahabat?

2) Kelangsungan mujahadah dan perubahan ke arah kebaikan (impak positif daripada madrasah Ramadan). Kesedaran, keinsafan, keazaman. Contohnya seorang yang merokok berjaya berhenti merokok. Atau seorang yang lalai dalam menjaga solat berazam untuk lebih menjaga solat dan merapatkan diri kepada Allah.

Rasanya, di media perdana, suasana raya lebih digambarkan sebagai adat dan budaya berbanding roh spiritualnya.

DOs & DON'Ts

... in the first few days (weeks?) when a relative or friend lost a loved one.

Do pray for arwah and sedekahkan al-Fatihah and other ayat-ayat suci al-Qur'an.
Do help to babysit for the little children when the mother wants to mandikan jenazah, solat jenazah, read tahlil etc.
Do offer to help with chores or errands if any.
Do give hugs (if suitable/possible) and say uplifting words.

Don't tell them not to be sad and to stop crying. Being sad does not equal to being 'tak redha'.
Don't ask too much details - what time pergi hospital, what the doctor said etc. If they want to talk about it, let them offer the details.
Don't ask whether arwah has acted differently the week before s/he passed away.
Don't take offense if they don't tell you the sad news immediately.
Don't invoke regrets, for eg, ask why didn't this and that done, either relating to the passing or otherwise (no 'if only' or 'kalau' or 'could have').
Don't expect them to cook to feed people who are coming for tahlil.
Don't be the 'spokeperson' of arwah, saying things like 's/he would have said..' or 's/he would have preferred if you do this or that..'
Don't share your own grief or story, eg 'I know how you feel, just like last time when I...' or 'I know someone who passed away like that too..'

Less preferred consoling words:
"Semua orang pun akan mati juga."
"That's life - things like this happens."

Yang baik jadikan tauladan

Kenapa banyak drama Melayu jalan cerita dia sungguh ‘depressing’? Sungguh tak membina, pada pendapat saya. Mungkin niat asal supaya yang buruk dijadikan sempadan, tapi bagi saya, lebih baik beri contoh yang elok.

Ini tiga contoh cerita yang saya maksudkan, dua yang pertama agak ‘recent’ ditayangkan di televisyen, mungkin kalian ada tonton dan masih ingat. Yang ketiga dah agak lama.

SATU
Seorang lelaki dikahwinkan dengan pilihan keluarga tanpa kerelaan, katakan nama dia Abu (sebab saya tak perasan nama dia apa dalam cerita tu). Abu memang treat his wife badly, katakana nama isteri ni Sara. Lepas ibu Abu meninggal, dia kahwin lain dengan pilihan sendiri, Min. Sebenarnya masa saya tengok tu dah nak habis dah. Abu memang kurang ajar dengan isteri pertama dan ibu mertua dia. Satu hari, anak-anak dia lari sebab terdengar Abu kata nak ceraikan Sara dan anak-anak dia nak ambil. Bila Abu dan Sara sedar, mereka pun pergi cari anak-anak mereka ni. Mereka jumpa yang kecil perempuan dalam keadaan semput, sebab gas inhaler dah habis. Bila balik rumah, mak si Sara senyap-senyap dah keluar dari rumah nak balik kampung sebab dia kata tak nak Abu marah-marah Sara disebabkan dia. Sara keluar cari mak dia dan jumpa tak lama lepas tu. Hujan lebat. Pokok tumbang timpa Sara dan mak dia, dua-dua meninggal. Di rumah, anak kecil yang perempuan pun mati. Tinggallah si abang, yang memang tak gembira sebab semua orang yang dia sayang dah mati, dan dia tak suka ayah dia atau ibu tiri dia. Satu hari, masa Abu hantar si abang ke sekolah, si abang ada cakap sesuatu pasal ibu tiri dia yang membuatkan si ayah marah sungguh. Abu keluar nak kejar anak dia yang berjalan ke sekolah, tapi dia kena langgar. Tak mati tapi lumpuh atau cacat.

Apakah?

DUA
Ada seorang perempuan yang kurang ajar dan sombong, anak orang kaya. Ayah dia kahwinkan dia dengan seorang ustaz dengan harapan supaya si ustaz ni dapat bantu didik anak dia. Perempuan ni, katakanlah nama dia Lia, tak nak, tapi ayah dia kata kalau tak ikut cakap dia, tak dapat harta. Lepas kahwin, Lia beri ubat guna-guna sampai suami dia ikut telunjuk dia serba-serbi. Ayah Lia mati sakit jantung bila dia tengok Lia sepak terajang suami dia sebab dia marah suami dia tu lambat kejutkan dia tidur. Satu hari, Lia lumpuh sebelah kaki, jadi semu-serbi suami dia tolong buatkan, tapi Lia masih tak sedar. Pembantu rumah keluarga tu cari penawar untuk pulihkan si ustaz, dan dia pun balik ke rumah dia sendiri. Satu malam, dia nak pergi balik ke rumah Lia, tapi dia kena bunuh masa nak selamatkan seorang gadis daripada dianiayai. Malam tu, kononnya Lia ternampak kelibat suami dia cakap selamat tinggal. Dia mengengsot sampai ke tangga, jatuh, dan makin jatuh sakit. Babak terakhir ialah mak dia dok menyuap dia makan.

Apakah?

TIGA
Ada seorang lelaki di kampung, katakan nama dia Ahmad. Dia bekerja di kebun dan baru bertunang dengan buah hati. Adik kepada Ahmad ni jenis yang buang masa, pergi merempit, dan paksa mak beri duit. Satu hari, Ahmad marah kat adik dia, suruh dia ubah perangai. Si adik merajuk, pergi merempit dan mati kemalangan. Si mak salahkan Ahmad. Dia mogok tak makan, sampai mati. Dalam pada itu, tunang Ahmad pula putuskan pertunangan dan jumpa orang lain. Ahmad jadi gila. Satu hari, waktu Ahmad (yang dah hilang akal) merayau-rayau di pekan, si bekas tunang secara tak sengaja terlanggar dia, kepala terhantuk, dan Ahmad pun mati.

Apakah?

Yang last tu memang saya paling tak faham sekali, apakah cerita yang cuba disampaikan sebenarnya? Memang it’s true saya ni jenis yang suka happy ending dan tak suka sad ending. Tapi still, memang bosan tengok cerita yang semua orang mati.

Ok, ni ending alternatif yang saya nak cadangkan, tapi mungkin alternatif yang boring jenis penonton tak nak tengok lah.

SATU
Abu ceraikan Sara tapi Sara dapat custody anak-anak dia. Dia jumpa jodoh lain yang lebih baik, dan hidup bahagia dengan mak dan anak-anak dia. Abu tak bahagia dengan Min dan menyesal dengan perilaku buruknya dahulu.

DUA
Bila kaki Lia dah lumpuh satu, dia pun sedar dan insaf. Suami dan mak dia bersyukur dan gembira dengan perubahan dia.

TIGA
Walaupun mak dan adik dia dah mati, dan dia putus tunang, tapi Ahmad tak berputus asa. Dia pindah tempat lain untuk mulakan hidup baru. Dia berjaya dalam kerjaya, jumpa jodoh lain dan hidup bahagia dengan keluarganya. Dia jadi aktivis sosial yang cuba dekati mat rempit untuk bantu mereka buat perubahan.

Oklah, penat taip ni, probably one of my longest and 'randomest' post ever. Tiba-tiba dan out of character kejap.

A little adventure

On the first day of the family trip, everyone was excited to go out. We went to this place recommended by my brother. It was a hilly place and we walked upwards. At first, all I saw were ordinary trees, and I was beginning to wonder why my brother was taking us to this place. Then I saw boulders covered with moss floating! (not unlike the one seen in the movie Avatar). I was in awe. Until I saw the men maneuvering machines that controlled the objects from a distance. With them, was a group of musicians playing an accompanying sound. Ah well, it’s still a cool show. After that, we walked downwards, and I saw many colourful birds on the ground, everywhere. They looked so tame, like they didn’t intend to fly away. I wanted to pick one up, but the rest of my family was leaving so I quickly joined them.

Back at the hotel, they all wanted to rest, but I wanted to explore the city a bit, so I left on my own. I came across a Malaysian restaurant and went in. I ordered a dish. Not far from where I sat, a lady (presumably the owner or manager of the restaurant) was scolding a staff, apparently an Indonesian. She was accused of selling the restaurants food somewhere else. I didn’t want to pry on other people’s business, I just threw a sympathetic glance to the Indonesian lady. Suddenly, the Indonesian lady spoke up, not in Indonesian language as her employer might expect, but in perfectly accented English. Her employer was shocked. “You’re not different than me,” she said. I'm not sure what she meant by that.

I finished eating and walked out at the restaurant, but once out, I wasn’t sure which direction to go to head back to the hotel. To my relief, I saw MHH approaching with Munief and Fifa. What a relief! I hugged him in joy. MHH said that he wanted to buy kebab, so I said “Jom!”

And then the alarm bell rang, and the images fade away. Time’s up!

Sorry to have wasted your time! Hehe. But it sure was fun writing that down. Reminds me of the short show in PHDC, Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures. To those of you who are not familiar with the show, it starts with the legs of the their beds moving, and the beds starts running and flying in the sky, implying their great adventures happened while they were sleeping.

Bohong dan gila

The other day I listened to a segment in the radio where an ustaz from the Middle East (not sure which country) gave a short talk in Arabic, translated into Malay by a local ustaz. The actual topic was ‘Dunia Ladang Akhirat’ but towards the end he diverted from the topic a bit (with permission from the moderator) to give an advice to married couples. The following is roughly what he said (as translated):

Menjadi lumrah bagi isteri menyangka suaminya pembohong, dan menjadi kewajipan bagi suami untuk membetulkan persepsi isterinya.
Menjadi lumrah bagi suami menyangka isterinya gila, dan menjadi kewajipan bagi si isteri untuk membetulkan tanggapan suaminya.

I went “Whhaaaatt???”

And then he went on to elaborate (as translated):

Tuhan menjadikan wanita begitu sensitif hingga dia mengetahui apa yang sebenarnya suaminya mahu. Dan jika suaminya berkata yang lain, maka dia menuduh suaminya berbohong.
Dan lelaki pula tidak tahu mengapa isterinya pada satu saat begitu gembira, tetapi tiba-tiba menjadi sangat dukacita, hingga dia berkata isterinya sudah gila.

I had to laugh. That’s just so ‘weird’! I don’t know if this is the case of meanings lost in translation, or cultural idiosyncrasy or what, but I wouldn’t have used the words ‘bohong’ and ‘gila’ (which really were the words used) in any case, they’re too ‘strong’.

All the best for SPM

Some time ago, I found a copy of a letter I wrote to several youngsters way back in 2001. The youngsters (I wonder how they're doing, we've lost touch) were in my group, in a motivational camp I had participated in as a facilitator. It is rare to find a surviving record of something I wrote when I was younger, let alone one with hints of what my values and beliefs were, so this is quite a treat. I didn't change anything except to switch 'Kak Mynie' to 'akak' when addressing myself. I'm sharing it here in correlation with SPM which is to begin tomorrow, with best wishes to all sitting for it, especially to my brother #6 and my sister-in-law. All the best!


Assalamualaikum Adik,

Harapnya Adik sihat-sihat sejahtera dan sedang sibuk mengulangkaji pelajaran; SPM dah tak lama ni. Walaupun SPM tinggal lagi sebulan, jangan ingat dah terlambat nak buat apa-apa. Tidak sekali-kali. Walaupun dua hari pun dapat dimanfaatkan. Seperti yang akak pernah tekankan dulu, yang penting bukannya kita dapat mencapai sesuatu target yang mungkin agak tinggi untuk kita, tetapi yang lebih penting ialah dapat memperbaiki diri, sentiasa berusaha memajukan diri. Setapak ke depan akan lebih menghampirkan diri kita kepada kejayaan. Tapi ini taklah pula bermakna tak perlu target tinggi-tinggi sebab bak kata orang: If you aim for the stars, you may fall on the roof; but if you aim for the ceiling, you may fall on the floor. Jika kita ingin mencapai bintang, kita mungkin kan jatuh ke atas bumbung; tapi jika kita ingin mencapai siling, kita mungkin kan jatuh ke atas lantai. Dan tentunya bumbung lebih tinggi daripada lantai, kan?

Usaha datang dari dalam diri kita sendiri. Payah untuk orang lain yang menyuruh kita. You can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink. Kita boleh bawa seekor kuda kepada air, tapi kita tak boleh memaksanya minum. Self-will atau keinginan diri inilah yang akan mendorong kita untuk berusaha ke arah apa yang kita mahukan. Akak percaya jika kita benar-benar inginkan sesuatu, pasti kita akan sungguh-sungguh cuba mendapatkannya, insyaAllah. Lagi satu petua penting bagi diri akak ialah memohon pertolongan daripada Tuhan. Usaha biarlah disertai dengan doa yang tulus dan solat hajat sekerap mungkin. Yakinlah dengan pertolongan yang mampu diberikan oleh Allah – sesungguhnya Allah suka apabila kita memohon sesuatu daripadaNya dengan penuh rendah diri, ikhlas dan yakin. Selalu juga akak rasakan bila tengah menduduki peperiksaan dan tak pasti jawapan, muncul ilham entah dari mana.

Hari peperiksaan itu sendiri sangat penting. Dah dua tahun kita belajar untuk menghadapi peperiksaan SPM ni, kita tentulah mahukan badan dan minda kita berada dalam keadaan yang paling baik sebab kita hendak menghasilkan yang terbaik yang mampu kita lakukan. Sila teliti perbezaan – yang terbaik yang mampu kita lakukan bukannya yang terbaik, noktah. Jaga kesihatan: bayangkan terpaksa mengambil peperiksaan sewaktu demam – kan tak best? Terutama sekali hari sebelum peperiksaan, dapatkan rehat dan tidur yang mencukupi. Kita nak otak kita fresh pada waktu peperiksaan, tak nak lah pulak berasa letih dan mengantuk. Kalau Adik rasa gementar atau nervous, itu memang normal. Tarik nafas dalam-dalam dan cuba tenangkan diri Adik. Cuba fikir: Adik dah cuba menyediakan diri dan sekaranglah masanya untuk mencuba yang terbaik yang mampu Adik lakukan. Bahaya juga kalau terlalu gementar, takut kalau-kalau idea pun tak keluar. Cuba bertenang dan ingat pada Allah. Yakinlah bahawa nasib Adik di tanganNya, dan segala apa yang Allah beri kita harus terima dengan redha bahawa Allah tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Waktu periksa, jangan sekali-kali tinggalkan jawapan kosong. Itu memang pantang nombor satu. Walaupun tak tahu jawapan sebenar, hentam sahaja – manalah tahu ada yang dapat markah. Bagi setiap kertas, tulis je apa-apa yang terlintas bila rasa buntu. Pantang nombor dua ialah keluar awal – jangan sekali-kali keluar awal walau seminit dua. Seperti yang akak dah tulis di atas – kalau tak tau letak je jawapan apa-apa. Kalau dah siapa pulak, semaklah sesemak-semaknya. Ingatlah – kita dah belajar dua tahun, dan kita nak dinilai waktu periksa ni, maka hargailah setiap mint yang kita ada – manfaatkanlah. Try your very best!

Setelah selesai periksa, jangan berhenti berdoa pada Allah – waktu ni lah pemeriksa tengah periksa kertas dan mana tahu diringankan hatinya nak beri markah pada Adik. Cuti yang panjang manfaatkanlah sebaik-baiknya contohnya tolong mak ayah atau cari kerja – boleh dapat duit. Dan apa yang penting sekali fikirlah masa depan, what next after SPM? Lepas SPM nak buat apa? Seboleh-bolehnya akak sangat-sangatlah mengalakkan Adik teruskan belajar takat mana yang boleh. Kalau dapat masuk matrikulasi (untuk masuk universiti) Alhamdulillah, kalau tak dapat mungkin ada kolej-kolej atau institusi-institusi lain yang tawarkan diploma ke, atau kursus kemahiran ke, sijil perguruan dan sebagainya. Fikirlah jauh ke depan. Walau pun boleh kerja terus dan dapat gaji, tapi kalau dikorban mungkin tiga empat tahun lagi untuk lanjutkan pelajaran, insyaAllah Adik akan dapat pekerjaan yang lebih baik. Belajar itu satu pelaburan, dan pulangannya pasti berbaloi.

Tapi jangan silap faham. Kejayaan dalam hidup bukanlah (malah tidak sekali-kali) diukur dengan ijazah, tetapi sebenarnya kepada nilai-nilai diri kita sebagai insan. Sejauh mana kita menjalankan tanggungjawab kita sebagai hamba Allah dan sedar bahawa kita harus mengejar keredhaanNya. Sesungguhnya kejayaan di akhirat itu lebih penting daripada kejayaan di dunia. Segalanya di dunia tidak kekal, malahan kita akan mati entah bila, tapi alam akhirat itulah yang kekal abadi. Sejauh mana pula kita dapat berdikari dan mampu menjadi insan yang dapat menjaga diri dan seboleh mungkin meringankan beban ibu bapa dan adik beradik. Alangkah kagumnya akak mendengar cerita mereka yang berjaya hasil usaha sendiri – mungkin dalam berniaga atau berbakti pada tanah. Mereka yang ada wawasan dan ada semangat yang tinggi untuk mencapai wawasan tersebut. Atau disebut dengan kata lain, kita patut berusaha untuk menjadi orang yang menyenangkan orang lain bukan menyusahkan orang lain. Bahagia bukanlah terletak pada benda-benda fizikal (material) contohnya duit tetapi pada benda-benda spititual (kemanisan iman) dan emosional. Kata pakar psikologi, kebijaksanaan emosi lebih penting daripada kebijaksanaan intelek. Bila kita bijak dalam pertimbangan diri, diberi apa situasi sekali pun kita dapat bertindak dengan wajar.

Akak rasa dah panjang sangat membebel ni. Jika sedikit pun dapat diambil daripda bebelan ini, akak dah cukup gembira. Minta maaf atas segala yang tersilap dan tersalah. Akan mendoakan dan mengharapkan yang terbaik untuk Adik. All the best!

Salam sayang,
Kak Mynie
21 September 2001

My Mum is Amazing

Happy Mother's Day to Mok, Mak, and all mothers out there!

My Mum is Amazing
By: Zain Bhikha
By: Naadira Alli, Zain Bhikha & Linda Gcwensa

She wakes up early in the morning with a smile
And she holds my head up high
Don't you ever let anybody put you down
Cos you are my little angel

Then she makes something warm for me to drink
Cos it's cold out there, she thinks
Then she walks me to school, Yes I aint no fool
I just think my Mom is amazing

BRIDGE/CHORUS:
She makes me feel
Like I can do anything
and when she's with me
there's no where else, I'd rather be

After School, she's waiting by the gate
I'm so happy that I just can't wait
To get home to tell her how my day went
And eat the yummy food, only my Mom makes

Then I wind her up cos I don't wanna bath
And we run around the house with a laugh
No matter what I say, she gets her way
I think my Mom is amazing

BRIDGE/CHORUS

In the evening, she tucks me into bed
And I wrap my arms around her head
Then she tells me a tale of a girl far away
Who one day became a princess

I'm so happy, I don't want her to leave
So she lies in bed with me
As I close my eyes, how lucky am I
To have a Mom that's so amazing

BRIDGE/CHORUS

Then I wake up in the morning, she's not there
And I realize she never was
And I'm still here in this lonely orphanage
With so many just like me

And as my dreams begin to fade
I try hard to look forward to my day
But there's a pain in my heart that's a craving
How I wish I had a Mom that's amazing
Would be amazing

P/s: I heard this song on the way to work this morning. Sedih. Thank you Allah for my mother..

Please charge me more

When we went to pay the hospital bills after Adik was discharged after a 3-day treatment, I was shocked to learn how much we were charged. Not because it’s too expensive, but because it’s too cheap. Can you guess how much it was? Sure I know it will be cheap because it’s a government hospital, but I didn’t expect it to be that cheap.

A bit of illustration:
First visit, Clinic A: 10-minute consultation, 3 types of medicines RM30
Second visit, Clinic B (because Clinic A is then too far): 10-minute consultation, 4 types of medicines RM22
Third visit, Clinic C (because Clinic B is closed): 15-minute consultation, a referral letter (we were advised to go to the hospital) RM10
Fourth visit, Hospital D: 4 10-minute consultation, 3 types of medicine (2 administered orally & 1 by injection) 12 times, checking of temperature and oxygen level (kalau tak silap) 12 times, 1 x-ray, 1 blood test, 3 nights bed, 12 meals for two (patient and carer) etc etc RM17.50!
And there I was, worrying if we had enough cash in our wallets to pay the bill.

Perhaps there wasn’t much privacy being in an open hall with 20 other people (it does allow interesting interactions with other people though). Perhaps it was not too comfortable sharing a child-size bed with my daughter. Perhaps the shower room reminded me a bit of my asrama days (making me feeling slightly nostalgic hehe). Perhaps the food was sometimes bland, though at other times quite delicious, and in any case always palatable (I’m not too fussy anyway). I may have paid my due of taxes. But I still think I should be billed more. I’m glad we didn’t have a government servant guarantee letter, else we’ll probably end up paying only RM1 or RM2 or something and I’d feel so guilty, because I know we can afford to pay more.

What if there are other people like me, who are willing to pay more? I’m not talking about private wing etc (that’s a different story altogether), but just the regular service. I’m not suggesting the government increases the hospital bills in absolute terms, that would not be fair to the people from the lower income group who really can’t afford to pay more. Only the people who can (ermm.. can, as well as want to?). A ‘drop-your-contributions-here’ box (haha) would not be transparent and can easily be mishandled. What about a simple hurdle? Charge a higher rate (say 20% from RM17.50 to RM21), and those who wish to get 20% discount may fill out a form. It’s a hurdle, because there will be some folks who would think “Malaslah isi borang, I’ll just pay the extra bit”. There’s no need to give proof of income, it’s just a simple hurdle. Can it work? Imagine what can be done with that extra 20%! Well, okay, let’s say only half of the payee are willing to pay (slightly) more, the other half would gladly fill in forms – it’s still a 10% increased revenue. And it should be used to pay the doctors and staffs a higher salary.

Tabung Anak Selangor

I came across this in today's paper. Afiefah is 23 days too early to qualify. In any case, our kids might not qualify because neither of us was born in Selangor. But we've been living almost our whole life. Our IC address says Selangor, can pass or not? Any of you with 2008/2009 Selangor babies? Or perhaps knows someone with one who is not aware of this yet? Tell them =)

MANY are still unaware of the welfare programmes offered by the Selangor state government. This is evident in the small number of people who registered for these programmes.

An example is the Tabung Anak Selangor (Tawas) programme. Tawas project marketing officer Normaizatuniza Samian said it was one of the key programmes launched by the state government to ensure the state’s wealth directly benefited its citizens.

“All those born on Jan 1, 2008 and after with at least one parent born in Selangor, are eligible. Through Tawas, Selangor will make a savings gift contribution of RM100 for every eligible child. On the child’s 18th birthday, he or she is entitled for RM1,500 from Tawas.

“Tawas is a savings fund. The purpose of creating the fund is to ensure the revenue of the state, such as from its natural resources, is enjoyed by the citizens. The fund will be managed by a team of professional investment managers to ensure the money will grow over time,” she said,

Normaizatuniza added that bibs and caps for babies would be given out to those who register on a first-come-first-served basis.

Cheah Yoke Yin registered her four-month-old son for the programme in October.
“The registration process was very easy. However, not many people know about it and there must be more publicity on the programme,” she said.

Kong Yoke Loong came to know about the programme from his friend.
“Although the amount is small, it is better than nothing. I would prefer for the money to be banked into the account each year instead of having to wait for the lump sum after 18 years,” said the 33-year-old salesman.

Nor Faizal Paiman, a 30-year-old government servant, applauds the move.
“I have spread the news to my friends, especially those living in the villages. Some of them have not heard of Tawas while some who are IT-savvy, found out about it through the official website.”

In an interview, Rantaian Mesra Sdn Bhd chief executive officer A Shukor Tahir said: “The lack of public awareness on the Tawas programme is probably because we are not marketing it well but we will improve on it.
“So far, 1,424 have registered. We are now promoting it through the website, road shows and newspapers.
“People can look forward to more improvements to the programme as it is only in its early stage,” he said.

He added that the Tawas card would be launched on Feb 7.
For more details, call Tawas at 03-5510 3498 or log on to www.selangor.gov.my for more information about Tawas and the other welfare programmes offered by the state government.

A love song for a wife

I was on my way home from work some time ago when I heard this song for the first time in radio IKIM.fm 91.5. I only know some basic Arabics, but I know enough to understand “zaujati uhibbuki, zaujati habibti…” How sweet, it’s a love song for a wife. I started to imagine MHH dedicating (or perhaps even singing?) this song to me, tee hee..

I googled it, and found this. This video clip has English subtitles. I don’t know enough Arabic to tell whether the translation did justice to the original lyrics. Such a soft and sweet song, with such soft and sweet lyrics.



MHH found the lyrics. Thanks, darling :)

Zawjati (My Wifeeey...)

“Uhibbuki misla maa anteee” I love you the way you are,
“Uhihbuki kaifa ma kunteee” I love you the way you were,

“Wa mahma kaana ,mahaa saara“ No matter what did or will happen
“Anti habeebati anteee” You are and will be My Darling.

“Zawjateee…” My Wifeeey…

“Anti habeebati anteee” You are and will be My Darling.

“Uhbbuki misla maa anteee” I love you the way you are,
“Uhibbuki kaifa ma kunteee” I love you the way you were,

“Wa mahma kaana ,mahaa saara“ No matter what did or will happen
“anti habeebati anteee” You are and will be My Darling.

“Zawjateee…” My Wifeeey…

“Halaali anti laa akhshaa adulan…an numaqteee…” You're my rightful wife, I don’t fear sin… I don’t care not about those who like to reproach and irritate me.
"Laqad azina zamaanulana bi wuslim ghayri mumbatteee” It is our destiny to be Together eternally.

“Saqaytil hubba fi qalbi bi husnil fa a’li was-samti” In my heart you instilled love With grace and good deeds.
“Yagheeb-us’-sa’adu innibti” Happiness vanishes when you disappear,
“Wa yasful a’yshu inji ti” Life brightens when you're there.

“nahaari kaadihum hatta izaa ma a’ttulil baytee” Hard is my day Until you return home.
“Laqituki fanjala anni duna ya izaaa tabassamteee” Sadness disappears When you smile.

“Uhibbuki misla maa anteee” I love you the way you are,
“Uhibbuki kaifa ma kunteee” I love you the way you were,

“Wa mahma kaana ,mahmaa saara“ No matter what did or will happen
“Antee habeebati anteee” You are and will be My Darling.

“Zawjateee…” My Wifeeey…
“Antee habeebati anteee” You are and will be My Darling.

“Tagiku bi al hyaatu iza bi aa yauman tabarramti” Life turns black When you're upset,
“Fa asssaa jaahidan hatta aw haqqi qaamaa tamannaytee” So I work hard To make your wish come true.

“Anaaee anti fal tanay bi jifhil hubbi maa ashtee” You're my happiness. May you be happy forever.
Fa roohanaa qadi talafa ka mislil ardhi wa annabteee Our souls are united Like soil and plants.

“Wa amali wa Yaa sakaanee Yaa unsi wa mulhimateee” ”You're my hope, my peace My good company and inspiration.
“yatibul a’eshu mahmaa daaqatil ayyaamu intibteee” Life is good, no matter how hard it is, When you're fine.

“Wa amali wa Yaa sakaanee Yaa unsi wa mulhimateee” ”You're my hope, my peace My good company and inspiration.
“yatibul a’eshu mahmaa daaqatil ayyaamu intibteee” Life is good, no matter how hard it is, When you're fine.

“Uhibbuki misla maa anteee” I love you the way you are,
“Uhibbuki kaifa ma kunteee” I love you the way you were,

“Wa mahma kaana ,mahaa…saaraa“ No matter what did or will happen
“Anti habeebati anteee” You are and will be My Darling.

“Zawjateee…” My Wifeeey…

Proton MPV

I first heard about the ‘Name the Proton MPV’ contest over at the radio about two weeks ago. I was quite excited by the prospect of (Malaysians) having the option of cheaper MPV (not that I’m looking at buying an MPV now). The Proton MPV is expected to be launched end of March 2009. I hope (for the sake of Proton) that this car will be as successful as Persona and the new Saga. I quite like the look of the new Saga, by the way.

But I’m digressing. I was talking about the contest. The winner gets an MPV, no kidding! So try your luck here! The contest is open until 30 September 2008. Other than the name itself, you would also need to give a tagline and rationale. I already have 3 or 4 names in mind, but I have yet to come up with the tagline and rationale.

In the meantime, below is a rendered image of the MPV, taken from Paul Tan’s automotive blog. Not bad at all, right? I also learnt from his blog that Perodua will also come up with their MPV later next year.

Lesson for today

Don't leave crayons in the car and under the sunlight. They melt and make a mess! I wonder what is the melting temperature for crayons. [google google google] = about 50 degrees Celcius. No wonder...



But nevermind that. Even more seriously, don't leave your cellphone in your car! I got a circulation from my department's safety officer about an incident where a cellphone exploded (read more below). It happened in Saudi, where it's probably much hotter than here. But still, let's not take chances shall we?

An incident of a mobile phone explosion inside a vehicle cabin was reported in Saudi Arabia lately.

Incident Background
Mobile phone units were left inside the car compartment while the vehicle was parked in an open area. One of the phones had its power “on”. It was close to midday. Reportedly after an hour in the park, one of the mobile phones exploded.

What Went Wrong?
Obviously the mobile phone’s battery is the only component as the legitimate source of stored energy.
The solar heat obviously pressurized the car’s closed cabin. What triggers the explosion could be the overheated battery caused by extremely high temperature magnified by the windshield (glass) and the sealed (unventilated) vehicle cabin.

Lessons Learned
Better not to leave mobile phones in car compartment especially when the vehicle is exposed to direct sunlight for a prolonged period.