Dreams

Do you believe in dreams? Of all the people in the world, I recently dreamt about G, someone who used to ‘torment’ me in my previous department. I dreamt that G would be joining my current outfit. If you know my experience with G, then you’ll know that it’s not merely a dream - it’s a nightmare! G is the kind of people who likes to micro-manage. He would peer over my shoulder (not literally) checking if the things I do were correct. Ask for status report every few days. I couldn’t blame him though; he’s very adamant about getting his projects perfectly on course, and I admit, I did ask for deadline extensions occasionally. He’d made a perfect subordinate because he’s sure to get the job done on time and all right, but he made a difficult boss, well, precisely because he expects people to get all jobs done on time and all right. All these pressure, merely months after I started working, had stressed me, and I was always thinking of out. (Alhamdulillah, I have since moved to a new department, where both the work and environment tremendously improved.) G is supposed to be a ghost from the past, so what’s he doing haunting me today?

From some of the excerpts I found online, the ulama’ are unanimous in categorizing the type of dreams. The first type is from Allah, of visions of good tidings or warnings etc, the second is from the syaitan (mimpi sebagai mainan tidur?), and the third is manifestation of our own consciousness. The first type is quite rare, I believe. The second happens more often, but I think that the third is the most common type of dreams. It could be as straightforward as repeating events that you have experienced, or perhaps a reflection of your fears and hopes, subconscious or otherwise, sometimes direct, and at other times symbolical. I’ve read somewhere that one of the ways to further understand your own self is by ‘analysing’ your dreams.

Have you ever felt like you could control (some of) your dreams? I occasionally do, like last night, when I decide to dine out with MDH before we go somewhere I can’t remember. We were still strolling past a row of restaurants trying to decide which one to enter, when my son woke me up with his “Nak!” (minta susu). Some dreams are relatively generic, like the one where you fall and fall. But I very rarely get that; the one I usually get is the dream of being chased by bad guys. And suddenly I could leap up one-storey and tear up a car-roof. A reflection of worry and insecurity over something? Maybe. The kind of dreams that annoys me most is the restless one, where a short scene or more often ‘a sentence’ keeps repeating until I’m sick of it, but somehow I couldn’t make it stop. An example of this is, “I should’ve check with person A before deciding to do B.” Just that. Over and over. Regret? Likely.

Many years ago, I dreamt that I got an offer letter to continue my tertiary studies at University C. To understand the context, let me explain that it was absolutely crucial for me at that time to get into University C, because my sponsor, strained by the economic recession which had affected so many other people at that time, had informed us, that unless we got into University C or D, we can forget their earlier promised overseas degree and instead study at T@ylors or Sunw@y. Alhamdulillah, the very next day, I received the real offer letter. Rather than a ‘vision of good tiding’, I believe that the dream happened as a manifestation of my desperate hope.

In another dream story, also many years ago, a friend J who was close to me at that time, told me of her dream. She dreamt that she was taking a train to heaven, but when she arrived, the gatekeeper or conductor or someone there didn’t let her in, and told her that she was in the wrong train. You see, she is a Christian who had recently converted from Buddhism. Needless to say, I was struck by what the dream implied. I remarked to her, “J, maybe you ARE in the wrong train” but stopped short of elaborating.

So, what about G then? I believe that my subconscious is trying to alert me about something which I actually know of, but have been trying to avoid facing. That I’ve been slacking in my current job at work. That I’m becoming complacent. That if I don’t pull my acts together, G in another form may appear to apply the unwelcomed pressure.