Being a Working Mother

I came across an article titled as per subject, written by Sumayyah Meehan, in IslamOnline.net while getting the links which I had used in the previous post. This is a topic I’m passionate about, as evident in several posts in the past. The word ‘working’ however, should be interpreted as widely as possible, so as to include moms who’s studying, or working from home (including, but not limited to, doing business or freelance jobs). In fact, stay-at-home moms also have loads of work! So, I guess this is for all the moms out there. If you prefer to read direct from the source, click here.

Juggling marriage and child rearing is no easy feat. Add a full or part-time job
to the mix and you have a recipe for stress. There are many reasons why mothers make the difficult decision to work outside of the home and leave their children in the care of others. And there are both positive and negative aspects in the decision to become a working mother. But can a little management balance the pros with the cons?

Helping Others
"I know that I am working to help other people improve themselves," said Heidi Al Saleh, a physical therapist and mother of three in Maryland. Through physical therapy, Heidi believes she is helping people recover from injuries and improve the quality of their lives. "My children are also able to interact with other people that they wouldn't have otherwise met if I were a stay-at-home mother." Heidi is grateful to have found affordable daycare for her children and feels she has a sustained system of support.
The more you show your children how your job is making a difference in the world, the less likely they will feel resentful when you are away from them. It will also help instill the spirit of giving into their lives and shape the way they engage with people in need.

Financial Benefit
Due to the increased cost of living, many Muslim mothers have no choice but to reenter the workforce. Muslim families with more than one child not only have to provide the basics of food, clothes, and shelter but they also struggle to pay tuition fees for a high-quality Islamic education for their children.
"We live in America," said Tasleemah Abdul Jabbar, a medical assistant and mother of three living in Georgia. "You cannot really expect to stay at home unless you want your husband to be working two or three jobs."
Yet Tasleemah feels that while she is benefiting financially from working, she is missing out on her children's lives. "My husband gets to do the car pooling, after-school activities and all the wonderful stuff that I should be doing," she added.

Reasons of Sanity
Just ask any stay-at-home mother what the hardest part of her job is and she will tell you that it is the lack of privacy and adult interaction. Working mothers are blessed in that they can communicate socially with other adults and find time to themselves in the work place. Karimah Burton, a school district custodian and mother of one living in Pennsylvania, said, "My husband and son can be a handful together. My job lets me have time away to think without having anyone hovering over me."
Of course, with any job, time to yourself is limited. But taking a coffee break with coworkers or having lunch with them goes a long way in rejuvenating your character.

The Downside
Working mothers do face hardships every time they leave the comforts of their home to go to work. Some have faced discrimination in the workplace while others have struggled with homesickness.

"When I was living in the US, I definitely felt discriminated against at certain points in my professional life," said Monica Mohammed, who is a systems engineer, architect, and mother of four. "I was expected to be more dedicated to my job than to my family."

Monica added that even if her boss knew that she had a conflict between staying late at the office or going to pick up her child from daycare, she was expected to quietly take care of it and did not receive any flexibility from her employer.

Tasleemah believes the number one downside for working is that most mothers feel like they are neglecting their families. "There are not many good points to working outside of the fact you might have more funds to do things," she said. "By working, you cannot give your children the attention they need, be at all their activities, and you miss out on them growing up."

Heidi also agrees that working cuts into family life. "The babysitter sees more of my children than I do. By the time I get home at night, there is not much time for anything besides making dinner, eating, and going to bed." Due to her hectic schedule, Heidi cannot even enjoy the weekend, which she always spends cleaning.

Tips and Strategies
Fortunately, there are some tips and strategies to help you cope as you try to support your family.

• Get organized! Declutter your home for efficiency. Donate knickknacks and other dust-attracting junk to charity. Organize every room in your home and make a rule that all family members must abide by. Everything must be in its proper place or it goes in the garbage. This way when you come home from work everything will be in its proper place. And if it isn't, you can just pile it into a garbage bag. If you follow through with this rule, you can be sure the next time you come home everything will be put away!


• Ask for help! Don't assume you have to be Super Mom and carry the weight of household responsibilities on your shoulders alone. Enlist the help and support from your family members to keep your home running like a finely oiled machine. Assign age-appropriate chores to your children. Recruit your husband to split up your household duties equally. Split up the week so that you both are sharing in the preparation of meals and cleanup.


• Plan ahead! The working mom's best friend is the freezer. Prepare meals in bulk and freeze half for another meal. Or pick a day on the weekend to cook and freeze a week's worth of meals. After a long day at work, all you have to do is pop the food in the microwave and "WHAM" dinner is served! Your wallet and aching feet will thank you for the preplanning.


• Schedule your time! Invest in a daily planner that will help you to manage your day. Use the weekend to fill in all the days so that your children will always be engaged and cared for while you are away at work. Also schedule in important dates in your children's lives, like the school play or a PTA meeting, so that you can manage your time around them and try your best to make the time to attend.


• Lower your expectations! No one is perfect. Life has its ups and downs that will always interfere with your daily routine no matter how much you preplan. Try your best to stay calm and roll with the punches. And don't sweat the small stuff!


• Take care of yourself! Get enough sleep and exercise on a regular basis to stay in peak performance. You will be of no use to your job or your family if you are run down or tired.

Candice Abderrahim, a legal secretary and mother of three from Delaware, summed up the formula: "It was hard at first. But once I got into a routine, it made things a lot easier."

Being a working mother can be a balancing act between your needs and the needs of others. With a little luck, preplanning, and loads of organizing, you create harmony between your job and home life. Just be sure that you and your family are on the same page when it comes to striking this balance. Without this familial support, you will never find peace working outside of the home.

What about you, do you have any tips to share?