A short story of 'me and him'

We haven't gotten along too well the past few years. So much so that I have been contemplating on leaving him.

Yesterday, it struck me that I have known him for more than half of my life, seventeen years to be precise. Wow - that's a long time. He started by giving me 50 ringgit allowance per month when I was sixteen, more like a gift, not expecting anything back from me. I dreamt of studying abroad, and he agreed to finance it, thereby making my wish come true. Now, he's giving me thousands of ringgit per month and expected a lot from me. I felt suffocated sometimes, and I felt like I can't be my true self when I'm with him. I wanted out.

But recently, I realised that I still need him, so I've got to make it work again between us. I might not be able to make myself fall in love with him, but at least we can try and be cordial with each other. Thank you Allah for his presence in my life - it is all due to Your boundless mercy. Help me mend things, ya Allah.

(Just to be clear, 'him' here is NOT referring to my husband :) )